I really shouldn't be surprised...

but sometimes he says or does things that still absolutely floor me. He has been having a few bowel issues recently. This has occurred in the past but he has had bouts of diarrhoea three times during the past month. I contacted the GP and she gave him a thorough check up and also took various samples. One has returned with borderline results so her guidance stipulates she needs to offer him certain options regarding urgent treatment. She phoned me to explain and asked me for my answer. I said I would not do that as he is still able to make those decisions. So I would go through the options with him and let him decide.

As you know, I try not to spend very much time in his presence as my whole being wants to get away from him. But I sat and patiently explained it all to him along with problems that may occur due to his age, etc. His decision: he would like the GP to refer him to the urgent gastroenterology clinic. I checked that was a definite decision and he confirmed it was. I know from past experiences that he can change his mind or blatantly say the opposite at a later date. But I took his words in good faith this time. I duly spoke to the GP and gave her his decision. That was two days ago. Today a letter came for him from said clinic explaining a review of his health would take place and the consultant would make a decision as to the best treatment for him.

I gave him the letter. He asked what it was, I explained. He said: "I told you I did not want to be referred." Really? I sat down and reminded him of our previous conversation. With some anger in his voice, he reiterated his wish not to be referred.

I give up. This is definitely not the first time he has done something like this and it won't be the last, of that I am sure. I just thought to myself - I either need to wear one of those body cameras like the police wear or I need to get him to write down his decisions and sign them from now on so I have some sort of witness or record. I have decided to do the latter. The irony is that I have Power of Attorney for him but I choose to let him make decisions about his health himself as he is still compos mentis. I know that UTIs can cause some confusion so that may be the case this time but the underlying issue is definitely his loss of power and dominance over me as I am at last standing up for myself and not permitting him to tread all over me. Although some days it is really difficult for me to do. I just do not have it in me at times. Sometimes all I can do to get through the day is breathe.

I said that I would contact the clinic and explain he has changed his mind. He was very quick to say "no, I will go through with it now."