Wake up, Superwoman.

Just had to unceremoniously heave dad back onto his bed! He needed the toilet at 4am. A weird time for his toileting but probably caused by the fact he only ate his lunch at 3pm when we returned home from his hospital appointment yesterday.

Anyway, I eventually woke up from my deep slumber to hear him shouting my name and his 'home-made alarm' doorbell* ringing out continuously. I staggered downstairs to find him with his head on the bed and the rest of his body and upper legs lying in mid air with his knees making a right angle to the floor and his feet on the floor! Aaaargh!

I did not know how to fix this problem in my dozy state. At first I told him that whatever I do, he will be floor-bound. But then I had a brainwave, thanks brain! I kneed/lifted his posterior back onto the bed. He made an 'oof' sound as I was not considering being very gentle, all I was concerned about was physically getting him into a safe position as quickly as possible. Then I picked his legs up and put them on the bed. Huge relief, he was safe!

I had not wanted him to land on the floor because I knew I would never be able to get him back up off the floor on my own. It had taken two strong men - my husband and a neighbour to do that when he had fallen a few months back. So I just had to use whatever brute force I could muster! Phew!

Whilst this was all happening, he moaned at me that he needed the toilet; he needed to get up not lie down. I completely ignored him until he was absolutely safe. Then I explained my reasoning. I told him to then start again but this time do it slowly and carefully while I held that catheter bag that seems as heavy as a concrete weight when it is full!

He managed to get up properly this time on his own. Off he toddled to the toilet using his walking frame. I waited around downstairs until he trundled back to his room so I could make sure he got back into bed safely. All sorted.

Of course, he promptly fell back to sleep, while I have lain here for a few hours, an absolute bundle of nerves with a sore muscle in my upper back. Hey ho!

Every time I nodded off, I would hear the doorbell sound in my mind and wake myself up again. But it was all in my mind. He is fine. I am not, I have had all manner of thoughts swirling around my mind. Especially concerns about our forthcoming holiday in a couple of months. We are going on holiday for two weeks in the U.K. Woohoo! I cannot remember the last holiday I have had like that. Boy, do I need it! We have had a few short breaks away that were lovely but a proper getaway?

I could be wrong but I think the last time was 2005. Now, considering I have realised it takes me three to four days to truly switch off from all the 'home concerns' when I go away, that means I have only had a day or two in sixteen years to be absolutely free of worries about caring for poorly parents. I have been preparing by organising carers for him during that time so he will have four visits per day and he will also have a personal alarm. But and it is a BIG but he will be on his own during the night.

What if something like that happens again? He could use his alarm but emergency services are taking up to five hours to reach their callouts at present. Also this morning's incident would not require paramedics so we do not want to waste their precious time. No, what I need to do is try to find willing folk who would not mind staying overnight with the possibility of a few interruptions from him. I know he will be on his best behaviour for them.

Whatever, I seriously need this holiday. I have always put others' needs ahead of my own but this time I am going to think of myself and my mental health.

Of course Covid-19 may alter our plans but if not, I will be free of any responsibility for two whole weeks. Wouldn't that be wonderful.

PS *He has a doorbell to press and the sound thingy is upstairs so that is his way of calling us. We have used this system for years with my Mum too and it is very efficient unless it happens to be on the same frequency as neighbours' doorbells which can cause us to get a lot of unnecessary exercise.