We all have a story to tell.

It has taken me a long time to begin telling my story and I am still hesitant about it. So many reasons why. But others have told me to talk about it and even though each time that happened, I would shake my head and whisper 'noooo'. I had so many excuses to not do it and yet every time I would wonder why they said that. Why did it seem so important to them?

Now, as I write bit by bit still withholding so much, I can see the load shedding off my mind, body and soul. With each post I write, I feel lighter and freer. I realise how important is is for me to set it all free.

I have always been amazed at those people who are so open about their stories. I have thought how strong and courageous they are. But would obviously never think the same about myself. A woman has come into our lives recently who is open and honest about her horrific story. She has become my dad's morning carer.

I felt awkward hearing her story as it is so raw and vulnerable and similar to mine and yet I am keeping quiet as I need her to work with my dad who treated me similarly to how her Dad treated her. I even told my husband, it does not feel right that I keep quiet. But what can I do and how much do I say? He told me to just explain the bare minimum. Then this morning, she helped my dad shower and I could hear his temperament escalating into those dizzy heights of vitriol and loathing. I do not want to put anyone in that situation with him. I clattered and banged around the kitchen so she knew I was there ...and so did he. After a few minutes I walked away as I felt I was being sucked in to his drama once again even from outside of the bathroom.

I then heard her tell him to wait a minute and she came to find me. She explained what was happening and asked me to come and sort it all out. I went in and it was very strange, I felt strong and calm with her presence beside me. I calmly asked him what was the problem. He told me and I asked what he wanted to do about it. He explained and immediately seemed to calm down. Well, as calm as he could get in that state.

I thought, here I am treating him as I would one of my play therapy clients. Attentive, non-judgmental and person-centred. It felt like I was holding the space for two warring siblings. We got through it and I left them to do the rest.

Afterwards, she said she was worried I would think she could not do her job as carer properly. She was worried about my reaction. It would have been his reaction that concerned me if I was her. But I took her to one side and said I needed to explain some things to her. I told her what I thought his childhood must have been like. A time of little or no love or affection. And positive touch at a minimum. So for him to now need help in the shower, feeling at his most vulnerable, was all too much for him. She has to wash his back, legs and feet. She has to touch him. He could not cope with that. And that is why he reacted in such a way. She understood. Her father was the same.

I told her that the temper she had witnessed from him today is a smidgen of the temper I have seen in my 57 years. That is why I need her to care for him at least for half an hour each day. She understood.

I told her not to even try and argue with him as it would be like hitting a brick wall, it will not budge. So she must just let him get on with it and if it is wrong, he will soon notice and have to fix the problem himself.

In a way, I am glad that happened today when I was present and could help her. I am also pleased to have opened up about his issues, so she can understand more about us. She gets it as she has been through so much herself. She is open about her story. I wonder if you could be open about yours too?